My early life was a long journey of straying from God, trying to disprove Him and then trying to find Him in all other religions until YHWH stopped me. Jesus made it clear that I thought I had been chasing Him, when in fact He was the one chasing me. Being saved by the grace of Jesus Christ, brought out of the New Age, the occult, and a serious Buddhist practice, God has not only redeemed my soul, but also has redeemed my past. God can make good of anything! He even uses all my past academic and experimental pursuits in philosophy, psychology, the liberal secular world, and world religions (especially the East) in testimony to reach the lost, and even the straying that are inside the church. He has given me a great concern for those in the church that are deceived by the pagan worship practices and Eastern worldviews that have entered.
Early in my childhood I believed in Jesus. I used to talk to Him all the time. I even think before the age of ten, I was already acting like an apologist. But I strayed. At one point, I was so angry at Him that I thought I’d disapprove him (how can you disprove who you know exists—how silly of me!), and when that failed, I was determined to find him in other forms in all religions. That too failed. But I was stubborn and wouldn’t yield. I’d stray so far into darkness, it is a wonder to me that I made it out—this can only have been by the grace and mercy of my Lord Jesus.
Here are ten steps that led me away and into darkness: 
- I judged who God is based on my own way and life, my desires and wants. I judged my needs and thoughts based on my ways and thoughts, not His.
- When He didn’t answer prayer, I chose to find ways, rituals and belief systems to end my suffering. I didn’t want to suffer.
- I stopped seeking God’s Word, and stopped praying to Him daily.
- I accepted that I could find wisdom from other religions, and find him in their practices.
- I started with self-way, seeing through the lens of self first.
- I thought striving with God and with others meant I needed to do more to understand and control the circumstances. I thought I needed to do more than trust His Word to know Him or understand Him.
- I sought the world’s wisdom which led to accepting pagan practices to control my life, and believed their offer of peace and their view of god.
- I made God into who I wanted Him to be or thought he should be, rather than who He is, who He has revealed He is in His Word.
- Like a true child of the age, a postmodern child, I made pagan worship practices okay measured by my personal measure of truth, rather than what the Word of God says.
- I sought the divine by following my heart, and going within myself.
Notice all those I’s? Do you relate? Was that you too? Is that you now? Before YHWH stopped me, I was no longer looking for Him. I had sunk and settled in deep into my dark pool of sin. When He lifted me out, my mind began to get purified and I remembered all the people He sent to give me the Gospel along the way. So, I encourage you to remember that the true God, the Creator, can pull you and your loved ones out of anything—anytime, anywhere—and to you, please never grow weary in giving the Gospel of peace as it never comes up empty. Even if you are rejected and spit on, the Word of truth, never returns void. It shall accomplish what God pleases and purposes (Isaiah 55:11).
God Bless you and yours.
Montana Retreats 2020 & 2021
